Currently, there is no route with the panther (if you mean him). He was only a side character to this point, but he might come back later in the story. If you mean the Tiger, he is about to get his own route.
Hello, Sandro. I read your work and I have enjoyed it so far. You have talent in writing and it's fairly well-written, but I have some nitpicks to point out and give you some suggestions to improve your writing.
First, it's the dialogue. You cannot write and merge the conversation between characters into a single paragraph. You're mixing and potentially confusing the readers in who-is-who is talking. You have to separate them individually. Like this:
"Hey, dude, you must be my new roommate!" he said with a warm voice. "I'm Jack, by the way." He held out his for me to shake.
I smiled and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Jack. I'm Sandro," I said, trying not to look too nervous.
Second, you are overusing the "I couldn't help but" a lot. In my opinion, it's getting pretty annoying.
Instead of: "It was a backhanded compliment, I knew, but I couldn't help but smile anyway."
Write this: "It was a backhanded compliment, I knew, but I smiled anyway."
Please, use less the "I couldn't help but" or drop it all together. I hope you will do better in the future.
Hey. I'm aware of those repetitions, and if I ever feel like correcting them, I will do so, but proofreading isn't my favorite task to do, so it really depends on me thinking about it while writing. Don't worry further, I'm already working on that one. :)
This is a well-written visual novel. It's is very light, casual and without many worries. It's the kind of utopian fantasy that's good to come into contact with every now and then.
oh its pretty good, and im lookin forward to future updates. side note, you might want to add a description to your game so people will be more interested.
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Any good route with big cat? not sure if I skipped something but all routes goes to kangaroo.
other than this question, keep going man, love da story :3
Currently, there is no route with the panther (if you mean him). He was only a side character to this point, but he might come back later in the story. If you mean the Tiger, he is about to get his own route.
Who did the art for your project?
Its AI generated
Which app did you use?
Perchance AI
Two more things:
1. Which setting do you use for the art?
2. Would it be alright, if you can hear me out for a new character idea for your project?
mmm... yes panther
Hello, Sandro. I read your work and I have enjoyed it so far. You have talent in writing and it's fairly well-written, but I have some nitpicks to point out and give you some suggestions to improve your writing.
First, it's the dialogue. You cannot write and merge the conversation between characters into a single paragraph. You're mixing and potentially confusing the readers in who-is-who is talking. You have to separate them individually. Like this:
"Hey, dude, you must be my new roommate!" he said with a warm voice. "I'm Jack, by the way." He held out his for me to shake.
I smiled and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Jack. I'm Sandro," I said, trying not to look too nervous.
Second, you are overusing the "I couldn't help but" a lot. In my opinion, it's getting pretty annoying.
Instead of: "It was a backhanded compliment, I knew, but I couldn't help but smile anyway."
Write this: "It was a backhanded compliment, I knew, but I smiled anyway."
Please, use less the "I couldn't help but" or drop it all together. I hope you will do better in the future.
Hey. I'm aware of those repetitions, and if I ever feel like correcting them, I will do so, but proofreading isn't my favorite task to do, so it really depends on me thinking about it while writing. Don't worry further, I'm already working on that one. :)
This is a well-written visual novel. It's is very light, casual and without many worries. It's the kind of utopian fantasy that's good to come into contact with every now and then.
VERY GOOD! I really like it so far
oh its pretty good, and im lookin forward to future updates. side note, you might want to add a description to your game so people will be more interested.